In the last entry I forgot to mention the accomplishment of
one of my goals. I always wanted to try driving on the ‘right’ side
of the road. I have wanted this since I spent six months in college
in Miami. So after climbing Diamond Head, I asked Mike if I could
drive his car. And he let me. I was on the other side of the road
on the HWY with a gear stick in my right hand. Blinkers in the left
hand. And using the clutch without stalling. I was pretty impressed
with my skills. I didn’t crash, I didn’t stall and most importantly
I conquered my goal. I can drive in America!

Since regretting organizing the Pearl Harbor Tour right after NYE, Linz and I had
planned to have a beach day on the Monday.

We chose our spot right in central Waikiki. We wanted to park ourselves right outside the
pink hotel. It was a good spot, but not the best spot Linz had ever
been in. (“Hau’oli Makahiki” – Happy New Year!!) We had also
purchased straw mats to lay on.

Considering I’m not the biggest fan of the beach, due to salt water and sand, I went along willingly. I
had decided to use my moisturizer to aid me in my blackening. This
proved to be problematic as the sand stuck to me as if I were
drenched in honey. It was horrible. After a couple of hours lying
in this Australian sand, I had cracked it. (FYI #1: the sand on
Waikiki is imported from Australia. I’m pretty sure they import and
clean the best sand we have. Now I know its not gritty Melbourne
sand or course Peninsula sand, nor white sand.. So where does it
originate?)

Linz and I had planned to spend the second part of the
day at “America’s largest mall’. Aloa Monana. Catching the bus cost
an easy $2.50. The mall housed one of the best food courts I’ve
ever seen. Finally I was able to consume something other than
Mexican, fries or burgers. (Mental note: I am not eating those each
day, on the whole I’m fairly conscious with American food.)

We spilt and decided to meet each other in a couple of hours. Enough
time to make some purchases. This is when I met Nethanial. A young
man working at one of the stalls in the marketplace. He grabbed my
hand and wouldn’t let me go. He even scribbled his number on a
receipt for me to call him for dinner. Hell no! The dude was about
5″6.. Are you serious? His overtly keen and creepy approach,
managed to scare me away from the stall.

As usual, I walk the mall, work out what I want before I return. I went to Victoria’s Secret
and made some cute purchases and waited in the register queue for
half an hour. It wasn’t all bad, because I managed to phone Anthony
Ficara and have a good old Miami catch up chat.

On the Tuesday we had planned for Mike to take us on the ultimate turtle hunting tour
of the island. All was going well until Mike called and explained
that he had been in a car accident. Luckily enough it wasn’t
anything major and he wasn’t hurt. But this meant in no uncertain
terms that we weren’t going anymore.

Plan B kicked into action. Flexibility as a teacher has taught us always to have a back up
plan in place. So the Zoo was the next point of interest.

Feeling the need for another beach day, we decided to go to Hanauma Bay. It
is about 30mins out of central Waikiki and easily transportable by
bus. Climbing on we were squished and standing amongst a whole
variety of people. We managed to meet an American couple who had
planned a pickup by a taxi for the way home. Indeed a great idea
considering the amount of people at the bay without cars.

The bay is one of the most gorgeous beaches I have ever seen. It still
wasn’t enough for me to want to swim but I did walk in up to my
knees.

Finding us a spot on the grass beside the sand was perfect.
I did still manage to get bitten by three sandflies or mosquitos.
Still unable to tan effectively as we were located next to sand and
I can’t handle it sticking to me.

For dinner I had bought some bagels with Philadelphia Cream Cheese with Garden Vegetables. This
is really the beginning of the end for me. I could eat it until I  died.

I have also come to the conclusion that my sleeping patterns
are quite frustrating for other people. I thought it was only Dover
that couldn’t handle it because he sleeps more than anyone I know.
I need about 6hours. I find it difficult to sleep before 12am and I
am up around 8am or earlier. As soon as I hear a noise I’m awake.
On the whole I’ve found sleeping quite difficult. I’m assuming its
because I’m so busy with my two jobs, that by the time I get to
sleep I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I’ve been using as much
brain power and my physical exercising is low. My body just ain’t
tired enough to fall asleep.

Being in America this time is quite different. The biggest influencing factor being the fact I’ve
actually got money to spend. So spend we have been doing. I will be
looking forward to hitting the Gold Coast and not spending a cent.
I am aiming to purchases as many dresses as possible.

I am missing a few things. I would put the Little Ox at the top of my
list. I am desperate for poached eggs, something that Denny’s
family restaurant would do draped in oil. I am actually missing
good and healthy food.

Friday was our last night at The Royal Grove. We were sad to leave. It had steadfastly become our home.
It’s residents held a sense of homeliness. They carried stories for
as long as forty years. Our new Neighbour Jack had been coming to
the hotel since 1969. He was a cute old man. Linz feel in love with
him. He even has his own sign next to his room. Please see the
pictures. In our brief interactions with consistent residents, Linz
had managed to be misquoted.

Fortunately I was able to clear the context of the speech. On Thursday we headed to the Kalala mall.
There was not really much to look at. I purchased an iPad for my
parents and a couple of dresses. FYI: the best shopping in Hawaii
is in Waikiki.

Sitting alone outside Barnes and Noble, I began to
write the next entry. I sit outside because Americans love to pump
air conditioners at full blast that I always go shopping with a
jacket. A trick I have learnt from Miami and my consistent
arguments with my Roommate Gillian, who believed it was appropriate
to sit in 15 degrees under the cover with a jacket and trackies
on.. WTF?

Whilst reflecting and typing with my overzealous fingers,
I was approached by a man.

“Do you live here?” I replied no, I am vacationing. “Oh, so when do you leave?” “In a couple of days.”
“Oh really? Because you’d be perfect for film.”
I shoot a look that should be described as ‘is there a point of this exercise and disruption?’
“yeah, I work for an agency that does a lot of extras work for films. You know like Hawaii 050? And things of that
nature.”
(Mental note: this man is wearing a maroon t-shirt with a local hotel cap. He has just jumped out of a sedan. He has a beer belly and looks unkept. If money was what he had, you would be hard pressed to locate it.) I politely declined his generous film offer, assuming that the type of film he was involved in, wouldn’t really suit my taste.

The plan for the rest of the night was to go on alesbian date to Duke’s by the sea, and then head to Moose’s in the
event we might find a sailor.

Moose’s was indeed an awakening. There were only a handful of people in the bar. The bar attendant was lovely. Her man was about to return from a holiday in Australia. As there wasn’t much going on you tend to get attacked by roaming lions in look of a sexual encounter. This freaks me out a lot partly because of their age and their hardball attack. It’s like being shot at by heat seeking missiles. Linz couldn’t shake the feel of being touched on the back by “D”.

The best and most promising part of America is being able to go shopping on the way
home from the bar. And shopping we did. I struggled to keep awake
while Linz mineral makeup-ed every inch of her face. Some brilliant
late night purchases. Reminding me we need to fill out the survey
for the store assistant Jennifer.

Friday was pivotal in a variety of ways. Firstly we were leaving the Grove and secondly it was to
be our last day of shopping. I had become increasingly nervous with
a few factors including luggage weight and rationing of money
before pay day. After packing up we visited our favorite cheap
store. To this note I have bought so many clothes, I will not need
to shop for the rest of the year.

The rest of the weekend revolved around turtle sightings. We drove to North Shore and managed to see
turtles just hanging loose on the beach. It’s actually incredible.
There were so many turtles that Linz couldn’t believe that she
could sit on the beach and read with them there.

Mike also took us to Macky’s Shrimp truck. Of course I couldn’t think of anything
more horrific in my life, but Linz and him throughly enjoyed it. On
Sunday night Linz officially lost her sushi virginity. We had this
wonderful sushi place below our hotel. Cheap and fresh. After a
long day of turtle watching, we were ready to eat some fishy
delights!

So here I am on our last day in the place that we love so
much. We don’t want to leave as we have really enjoyed being here.
I had hoped I’d marry a local but it hasn’t happened. So I guess
I’m stuck flying to Fiji for a couple of days.

Our last day in Hawaii consisted of crossing things off our list. Top of the list
was USPS to post our 14kgs of books home. Hideously we managed to
pack them and send them at a total of $117. Bargain.

Walking along the beach towards the Moana Surfrider hotel, we were forced into a
single line along the waters edge. A couple of meters ahead of us a
50 year old man unzipped his fly so his junk could hang out. This
was in anticipation of us seeing it. What he didn’t anticipate was
me screaming at him “pull up your fucking pants!”. Disgusting! All
in a day’s walk.

Shocked by the streaker we visited the museum in
the first hotel in Hawaii: Moana Surfrider. It was built in the
1920s. We wished we could have stayed there instead.

Cheesecake Factory was the luncheon destination. Of course we ordered
everything we wanted and we felt sick.

The last night in Hawaii will be stressing about the 27kgs increase in luggage weight..
Let’s see how far these eyelashes get me.

Things we like about Hawaii:
* weather
* shopping
* compactness of Waikiki
* beach
*turtles
* The Royal Grove
* The Cheese Cake Factory
* Chilli’s
* Bauble the Meer Cat
* prices in general
* Bookstores
* people
* skank tv
* everything

Things we don’t like about Hawaii:
* inflated prices of products in Waikiki
* overcrowded buses

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