So we leave Hawaii, the place where dreams are made of. Had I had been there longer, the only dream I would have would be dreaming of not living on the streets, before the Jacks woke me up and told me to move on.
I loved Hawaii. I would do anything to stay there. (For the complete compilation of what I wouldn’t do, make a prediction). I wasn’t looking forward to coming back to mosquito ridden and rainy Fiji.
I was sad to go, but nothing nine hours on a flight couldn’t cure. Again I was pleased by the vegetarian meals on planes. I was also fortunate enough to lie down for the flight. Linz moved to another chair but had to move again due to Christmas Island in comers. And by this stage I was out cold. Well as much as on can be with a crooked neck. I heard there is a giraffe living with one, I can’t see why I wont survive.
Arriving in Fiji, we luckily enough had transport to our hotel. It was a little less than an hours drive, it was wet and it was late. Checking into our hotel was easy, but no food in sight. So we decided to go straight to bed.
As soon as we awoke it was raining. Our villa was cute and I got the double bed. This was due to a rock off we had at The Royal Grove. I had chosen the double bed of the next hotel, which left Linz with the double there. Until this place, I thought I chosen the short straw. As long as it’s not a air bed I’m happy.
Fiji is well, boring. I found it hard to settle for days of nothing. Perhaps because there is no sun? It’s hot and there is nothing but reading and writing to do. Which is awesome for two days.. But the big factor is the lack of energy burning. This results in my insomnia and more frustrating for Linz, who has to put up with the late night- early morning routine.
Our first full day we headed into Sigatoka for shopping. As if I needed to make more purchases. On the positive side, we saw a few more white people. On the negative side, apparently ‘Fiji time’ extends for 45 minutes! We were least impressed, while waiting for our driver. You’d assume $50 FJD would get you some sense of urgency. But then again we were riding with a kid who had two rat tails.. Who let them out?
Our Friday consisted of reading and writing. It began with my stomach not feeling well, a usual result for different food. Thank god for America’s own Pepto Bismal. (Stomach pain relief, not De-gas or Dihorrea tablets, that Silva has eloquently taped to my desk. I’m just thinking about this year’s students seeing the packet and being horrified. It’s just short of Bowler letting my form group assume I’m away because of the squirts.)
We caught a cab to the sister resort for a change of scenery. There were loads more people but it wasn’t entirely full. It was a beautiful place to sit and write. I did feel bad for those who chose Fiji as a pick up destination. Where ever da party’s at, it ain’t here!
It did bring to my attention the influx of Australian tourists. I feel proud of my country until I step into a shop and hear an undercut wearing bogan and her husband have a whinge at the 2.6% VAT added onto her purchases. Forgetting the 11% GST good ole Howard added within the price and that different countries have well, differences. “If you did that in Australia, you’d be sued!” The red neck scumbag decided that it would take the Fijians too long to add it all up and walked out. I was embarrassed for Australia and felt like I was Kevin Rudd about to give his apology in embarrassment of previous generations. Doesn’t customs have some sort of screening process to keep these kind of scumbags in remote Australia? I’m pretty sure there are some cattle that need mustering or beers that need pulling? Or at the very least, garbage that needs sorting. I have vowed to myself that if I ever witness such rude behavior that ‘I’ll pull out me knife and slay the beast with me bear hands’.
Retuning to our villa on the infamous Coral Coast, we nestled back into reading. We did take a short walk to the waters edge and discover bright blue starfish and some ugly phallic looking sea urchins. They scared the phallic out of us.
For our last day the sun came out. Finally I had an opportunity to get my black on! So I sat myself by the pool. I hadn’t had much tanning, only a few days here and there so this was the perfect opportunity. And get my black on I did. Including the sunnies tan. It’s not my most attractive feature, but its all I’ve got.
We had also booked a snorkeling trip just off the coast. I had forgotten how much I love swimming, the weightlessness and speed. It’s remarkably quiet and solitary, but it’s what you learn to love. I’ve learnt I need to do some more mind relaxing activities. There were loads of cute little fishies and some pretty corals. I learnt that I often won’t swim because it’s cold. I preferred staying in close to avoid the ocean temperatures!
That night we were invited to a session of Kava by the staff at the hotel. I had already bought some to take with me, but I was keen to give it a crack. Kava is a herbal relaxant, it is supposed to calm you down and send you to sleep. “Perfect, this is just what I needed to avoid staying up all night and waking up early.” Sitting around the bowl of Kava, we elected democratically by way of sex, Mick. He had the power to begin each round and end them. Other members of our tribe included Linz, an Australian Mother and her 12 year old daughter and the English retirees, Lesley and Mick. Opting for his first taste of Kava to be ‘high tide’, (the larger bowl) he had his first taste. Onwards to Linz who despised the rooty delight. According to a source “peer-pressure was high, but the outcome would be vomit”. Linz took a sip and passed it on. When it came to my turn, I was ‘high tide’ all the way. I wanted to get to sleep before 1am, I was racking up with the boys. Apparently the ritual of having Kava would become a way of playing chicken with males. I was in! Numerous glasses later, I was more energized than ever. We went back to my room and I couldn’t sleep and I woke up at 8am. (With a headache, apparent side effect of Kava.)
The last day of our holiday was spent lounging around and preparing for our journey to the airport. We were being picked up 2pm, with the expectation of being at the airport at 4pm. Lest we forget the numerous pickups that added on the extra hour to our journey. Gagh!
Lest we forget, Linz not having the facilities to wash her hands and committing herself to throwing out anything she touches until she can wash them.
Arriving at the airport, we checked in successfully. And by successfully I mean, Em and her 38kgs and Linz and her 50kgs. We smiled and eyelashes were fluttered. We were also informed that we were on standby. Had we had not made the flight I would have been furious.
I am deeply disappointed by our lying flight itinerary! It had set us up with high hopes of a 4 1/2 journey back home. Where in reality it was actually five pushing six hours. In addition I think a whole family holiday of over 20 people including impossible preteens and screaming babies. Once a teacher always a teacher, both Linz and I told off the obnoxious little girls running around the plane.
Seriously? This is not the root of all evil on this afternoon turned red eye flight. Was it the fact I was sitting in close proximity of four continually flushing toilets? Or was it man who I sat next to, picking his nose and flicking them onto the floor? I will let you decide. It’s like a Goosebumps ‘Choose your own ending’ decision.
So in conclusion, upon reflecting of our journey we have felt that it has been a success. No hating as Silva and Bowler had predicted. We had a few issues, as you do, but nothing of great drama worth recording and publishing. We did have many moments that remain to strive for comedic reenactments. Such as the rivaled ‘log master’ theories of the universe or the daily Red Neckisms, and even the spelling quiz.
In terms of achieving the mission objectives. I think we did well. I was unable to find a beloved leather jacket, but it’s not like the 100s of clothing of items I purchased, wont be able to make up for it.
Finally, we pay homage to the airport ‘pickeruperer’ who has saved my back from lugging almost 40kgs and two bottles of alcohol.
And yes… We do like Pina Coladas!
Linz and Em