The older I get the more and more I begin to people watch. I’m not sure if it’s the result of my surroundings changing or the fact that I am becoming more critical of myself? And in developing criticism I am hoping to foster the creation of my own personal identity.
I would like to think that ‘we’ as people share common identities based around our geographical location. This meaning that we have been exposed to a variety of circumstances and experiences that make us similar. So what makes us different?
The reaction to certain situations controls our overall identity. I have spent the last two years really trying to define what it is or where it is I am going. I have come up with the following conclusion: decision-making is not my forte and that in a general sphere I have learnt to accept others for who they are.
Last night I witnessed the crazy. A young girl pinning a male up against the wall and berate him over the fact he was a) speaking with us and b) had only spoken 150 words to her all day. On further clarification of the situation it was omitted that they had kissed two times previously and she was dealing with a terminally ill parent. What I ask is, why does it make it socially acceptable to own someone you do not have emotional ties with?
And the very sad thing is that this is common. Are we as females so insecure that we need a man to make us feel good? Are men the much needed accessory of the month??
So what type of man do you want? Last night I met a gorgeous young man who was wearing a horrible flowered shirt circa 2004. Of course I began to ask him what he does, between slurring of the words he was able to say that he does Commerce and Marketing at Uni, works in retail and is a model. Jackpot!! However I’m nearly 26, at this point in my life a 20 year old student is not what I want. He did say he would give me a discount if I came into Ralph Lauren. I declined as Ralph Lauren is a label I’d wear into my 50s. He also offered that it was “like working with your mates and having fun”. I mentioned I worked for Morrissey. He only knew them post-recession and didn’t know they made clothes. So 20!!
So I felt old. But it did remind me of my life back then. And I am committing myself to more happiness now. Approaching 27 is now on the horizon and it comes with two realms of possibilities. The 27 Club and the return of Saturn. I don’t think I will lay victim to the 27 Club but the return of Saturn is inevitable. For those of you who are unfamiliar with either concept visit this page http://www.the27club.net/saturn-return-27
So what changes might this new cycle bring? I believe that girls of 18 do not want the same thing as 21 and then change that again at 25. All of this developing and growing has to do with maturity and experience. Which leads me back to my first point of people watching. How is it that some people manage to make major insecure mistakes? Is it nature or is it nurture?
The only conclusion I can develop is that I do not want to be that girl who spontaneously turns up at places after reading a crush’s Facebook page. I do not want to be that girl who overreacts to situations and becomes more trouble than I’m worth. I just want to be that carefree easy-going person who exerts confidence within myself.
Finally I believe that no one can tell you how beautiful, friendly or loving you are. That it must come from inside you. That way no one can take it from you.