So we leave Hawaii, the place where dreams are made of. Had I had been there longer, the only dream I would have would be dreaming of not living on the streets, before the Jacks woke me up and told me to move on.
I loved Hawaii. I would do anything to stay there. (For the complete compilation of what I wouldn’t do, make a prediction). I wasn’t looking forward to coming back to mosquito ridden and rainy Fiji.
I was sad to go, but nothing nine hours on a flight couldn’t cure. Again I was pleased by the vegetarian meals on planes. I was also fortunate enough to lie down for the flight. Linz moved to another chair but had to move again due to Christmas Island in comers. And by this stage I was out cold. Well as much as on can be with a crooked neck. I heard there is a giraffe living with one, I can’t see why I wont survive.
Arriving in Fiji, we luckily enough had transport to our hotel. It was a little less than an hours drive, it was wet and it was late. Checking into our hotel was easy, but no food in sight. So we decided to go straight to bed.
As soon as we awoke it was raining. Our villa was cute and I got the double bed. This was due to a rock off we had at The Royal Grove. I had chosen the double bed of the next hotel, which left Linz with the double there. Until this place, I thought I chosen the short straw. As long as it’s not a air bed I’m happy.
Fiji is well, boring. I found it hard to settle for days of nothing. Perhaps because there is no sun? It’s hot and there is nothing but reading and writing to do. Which is awesome for two days.. But the big factor is the lack of energy burning. This results in my insomnia and more frustrating for Linz, who has to put up with the late night- early morning routine.
Our first full day we headed into Sigatoka for shopping. As if I needed to make more purchases. On the positive side, we saw a few more white people. On the negative side, apparently ‘Fiji time’ extends for 45 minutes! We were least impressed, while waiting for our driver. You’d assume $50 FJD would get you some sense of urgency. But then again we were riding with a kid who had two rat tails.. Who let them out?
Our Friday consisted of reading and writing. It began with my stomach not feeling well, a usual result for different food. Thank god for America’s own Pepto Bismal. (Stomach pain relief, not De-gas or Dihorrea tablets, that Silva has eloquently taped to my desk. I’m just thinking about this year’s students seeing the packet and being horrified. It’s just short of Bowler letting my form group assume I’m away because of the squirts.)
We caught a cab to the sister resort for a change of scenery. There were loads more people but it wasn’t entirely full. It was a beautiful place to sit and write. I did feel bad for those who chose Fiji as a pick up destination. Where ever da party’s at, it ain’t here!
It did bring to my attention the influx of Australian tourists. I feel proud of my country until I step into a shop and hear an undercut wearing bogan and her husband have a whinge at the 2.6% VAT added onto her purchases. Forgetting the 11% GST good ole Howard added within the price and that different countries have well, differences. “If you did that in Australia, you’d be sued!” The red neck scumbag decided that it would take the Fijians too long to add it all up and walked out. I was embarrassed for Australia and felt like I was Kevin Rudd about to give his apology in embarrassment of previous generations. Doesn’t customs have some sort of screening process to keep these kind of scumbags in remote Australia? I’m pretty sure there are some cattle that need mustering or beers that need pulling? Or at the very least, garbage that needs sorting. I have vowed to myself that if I ever witness such rude behavior that ‘I’ll pull out me knife and slay the beast with me bear hands’.
Retuning to our villa on the infamous Coral Coast, we nestled back into reading. We did take a short walk to the waters edge and discover bright blue starfish and some ugly phallic looking sea urchins. They scared the phallic out of us.
For our last day the sun came out. Finally I had an opportunity to get my black on! So I sat myself by the pool. I hadn’t had much tanning, only a few days here and there so this was the perfect opportunity. And get my black on I did. Including the sunnies tan. It’s not my most attractive feature, but its all I’ve got.
We had also booked a snorkeling trip just off the coast. I had forgotten how much I love swimming, the weightlessness and speed. It’s remarkably quiet and solitary, but it’s what you learn to love. I’ve learnt I need to do some more mind relaxing activities. There were loads of cute little fishies and some pretty corals. I learnt that I often won’t swim because it’s cold. I preferred staying in close to avoid the ocean temperatures!
That night we were invited to a session of Kava by the staff at the hotel. I had already bought some to take with me, but I was keen to give it a crack. Kava is a herbal relaxant, it is supposed to calm you down and send you to sleep. “Perfect, this is just what I needed to avoid staying up all night and waking up early.” Sitting around the bowl of Kava, we elected democratically by way of sex, Mick. He had the power to begin each round and end them. Other members of our tribe included Linz, an Australian Mother and her 12 year old daughter and the English retirees, Lesley and Mick. Opting for his first taste of Kava to be ‘high tide’, (the larger bowl) he had his first taste. Onwards to Linz who despised the rooty delight. According to a source “peer-pressure was high, but the outcome would be vomit”. Linz took a sip and passed it on. When it came to my turn, I was ‘high tide’ all the way. I wanted to get to sleep before 1am, I was racking up with the boys. Apparently the ritual of having Kava would become a way of playing chicken with males. I was in! Numerous glasses later, I was more energized than ever. We went back to my room and I couldn’t sleep and I woke up at 8am. (With a headache, apparent side effect of Kava.)
The last day of our holiday was spent lounging around and preparing for our journey to the airport. We were being picked up 2pm, with the expectation of being at the airport at 4pm. Lest we forget the numerous pickups that added on the extra hour to our journey. Gagh!
Lest we forget, Linz not having the facilities to wash her hands and committing herself to throwing out anything she touches until she can wash them.
Arriving at the airport, we checked in successfully. And by successfully I mean, Em and her 38kgs and Linz and her 50kgs. We smiled and eyelashes were fluttered. We were also informed that we were on standby. Had we had not made the flight I would have been furious.
I am deeply disappointed by our lying flight itinerary! It had set us up with high hopes of a 4 1/2 journey back home. Where in reality it was actually five pushing six hours. In addition I think a whole family holiday of over 20 people including impossible preteens and screaming babies. Once a teacher always a teacher, both Linz and I told off the obnoxious little girls running around the plane.
Seriously? This is not the root of all evil on this afternoon turned red eye flight. Was it the fact I was sitting in close proximity of four continually flushing toilets? Or was it man who I sat next to, picking his nose and flicking them onto the floor? I will let you decide. It’s like a Goosebumps ‘Choose your own ending’ decision.
So in conclusion, upon reflecting of our journey we have felt that it has been a success. No hating as Silva and Bowler had predicted. We had a few issues, as you do, but nothing of great drama worth recording and publishing. We did have many moments that remain to strive for comedic reenactments. Such as the rivaled ‘log master’ theories of the universe or the daily Red Neckisms, and even the spelling quiz.
In terms of achieving the mission objectives. I think we did well. I was unable to find a beloved leather jacket, but it’s not like the 100s of clothing of items I purchased, wont be able to make up for it.
Finally, we pay homage to the airport ‘pickeruperer’ who has saved my back from lugging almost 40kgs and two bottles of alcohol.
And yes… We do like Pina Coladas!
Linz and Em
In the last entry I forgot to mention the accomplishment of
one of my goals. I always wanted to try driving on the ‘right’ side
of the road. I have wanted this since I spent six months in college
in Miami. So after climbing Diamond Head, I asked Mike if I could
drive his car. And he let me. I was on the other side of the road
on the HWY with a gear stick in my right hand. Blinkers in the left
hand. And using the clutch without stalling. I was pretty impressed
with my skills. I didn’t crash, I didn’t stall and most importantly
I conquered my goal. I can drive in America!
Since regretting organizing the Pearl Harbor Tour right after NYE, Linz and I had
planned to have a beach day on the Monday.
We chose our spot right in central Waikiki. We wanted to park ourselves right outside the
pink hotel. It was a good spot, but not the best spot Linz had ever
been in. (“Hau’oli Makahiki” – Happy New Year!!) We had also
purchased straw mats to lay on.
Considering I’m not the biggest fan of the beach, due to salt water and sand, I went along willingly. I
had decided to use my moisturizer to aid me in my blackening. This
proved to be problematic as the sand stuck to me as if I were
drenched in honey. It was horrible. After a couple of hours lying
in this Australian sand, I had cracked it. (FYI #1: the sand on
Waikiki is imported from Australia. I’m pretty sure they import and
clean the best sand we have. Now I know its not gritty Melbourne
sand or course Peninsula sand, nor white sand.. So where does it
Linz and I had planned to spend the second part of the
day at “America’s largest mall’. Aloa Monana. Catching the bus cost
an easy $2.50. The mall housed one of the best food courts I’ve
ever seen. Finally I was able to consume something other than
Mexican, fries or burgers. (Mental note: I am not eating those each
day, on the whole I’m fairly conscious with American food.)
We spilt and decided to meet each other in a couple of hours. Enough
time to make some purchases. This is when I met Nethanial. A young
man working at one of the stalls in the marketplace. He grabbed my
hand and wouldn’t let me go. He even scribbled his number on a
receipt for me to call him for dinner. Hell no! The dude was about
5″6.. Are you serious? His overtly keen and creepy approach,
managed to scare me away from the stall.
As usual, I walk the mall, work out what I want before I return. I went to Victoria’s Secret
and made some cute purchases and waited in the register queue for
half an hour. It wasn’t all bad, because I managed to phone Anthony
Ficara and have a good old Miami catch up chat.
On the Tuesday we had planned for Mike to take us on the ultimate turtle hunting tour
of the island. All was going well until Mike called and explained
that he had been in a car accident. Luckily enough it wasn’t
anything major and he wasn’t hurt. But this meant in no uncertain
terms that we weren’t going anymore.
Plan B kicked into action. Flexibility as a teacher has taught us always to have a back up
plan in place. So the Zoo was the next point of interest.
Feeling the need for another beach day, we decided to go to Hanauma Bay. It
is about 30mins out of central Waikiki and easily transportable by
bus. Climbing on we were squished and standing amongst a whole
variety of people. We managed to meet an American couple who had
planned a pickup by a taxi for the way home. Indeed a great idea
considering the amount of people at the bay without cars.
The bay is one of the most gorgeous beaches I have ever seen. It still
wasn’t enough for me to want to swim but I did walk in up to my
Finding us a spot on the grass beside the sand was perfect.
I did still manage to get bitten by three sandflies or mosquitos.
Still unable to tan effectively as we were located next to sand and
I can’t handle it sticking to me.
For dinner I had bought some bagels with Philadelphia Cream Cheese with Garden Vegetables. This
is really the beginning of the end for me. I could eat it until I died.
I have also come to the conclusion that my sleeping patterns
are quite frustrating for other people. I thought it was only Dover
that couldn’t handle it because he sleeps more than anyone I know.
I need about 6hours. I find it difficult to sleep before 12am and I
am up around 8am or earlier. As soon as I hear a noise I’m awake.
On the whole I’ve found sleeping quite difficult. I’m assuming its
because I’m so busy with my two jobs, that by the time I get to
sleep I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I’ve been using as much
brain power and my physical exercising is low. My body just ain’t
tired enough to fall asleep.
Being in America this time is quite different. The biggest influencing factor being the fact I’ve
actually got money to spend. So spend we have been doing. I will be
looking forward to hitting the Gold Coast and not spending a cent.
I am aiming to purchases as many dresses as possible.
I am missing a few things. I would put the Little Ox at the top of my
list. I am desperate for poached eggs, something that Denny’s
family restaurant would do draped in oil. I am actually missing
good and healthy food.
Friday was our last night at The Royal Grove. We were sad to leave. It had steadfastly become our home.
It’s residents held a sense of homeliness. They carried stories for
as long as forty years. Our new Neighbour Jack had been coming to
the hotel since 1969. He was a cute old man. Linz feel in love with
him. He even has his own sign next to his room. Please see the
pictures. In our brief interactions with consistent residents, Linz
had managed to be misquoted.
Fortunately I was able to clear the context of the speech. On Thursday we headed to the Kalala mall.
There was not really much to look at. I purchased an iPad for my
parents and a couple of dresses. FYI: the best shopping in Hawaii
is in Waikiki.
Sitting alone outside Barnes and Noble, I began to
write the next entry. I sit outside because Americans love to pump
air conditioners at full blast that I always go shopping with a
jacket. A trick I have learnt from Miami and my consistent
arguments with my Roommate Gillian, who believed it was appropriate
to sit in 15 degrees under the cover with a jacket and trackies
Whilst reflecting and typing with my overzealous fingers,
I was approached by a man.
“Do you live here?” I replied no, I am vacationing. “Oh, so when do you leave?” “In a couple of days.”
“Oh really? Because you’d be perfect for film.”
I shoot a look that should be described as ‘is there a point of this exercise and disruption?’
“yeah, I work for an agency that does a lot of extras work for films. You know like Hawaii 050? And things of that
(Mental note: this man is wearing a maroon t-shirt with a local hotel cap. He has just jumped out of a sedan. He has a beer belly and looks unkept. If money was what he had, you would be hard pressed to locate it.) I politely declined his generous film offer, assuming that the type of film he was involved in, wouldn’t really suit my taste.
The plan for the rest of the night was to go on alesbian date to Duke’s by the sea, and then head to Moose’s in the
event we might find a sailor.
Moose’s was indeed an awakening. There were only a handful of people in the bar. The bar attendant was lovely. Her man was about to return from a holiday in Australia. As there wasn’t much going on you tend to get attacked by roaming lions in look of a sexual encounter. This freaks me out a lot partly because of their age and their hardball attack. It’s like being shot at by heat seeking missiles. Linz couldn’t shake the feel of being touched on the back by “D”.
The best and most promising part of America is being able to go shopping on the way
home from the bar. And shopping we did. I struggled to keep awake
while Linz mineral makeup-ed every inch of her face. Some brilliant
late night purchases. Reminding me we need to fill out the survey
for the store assistant Jennifer.
Friday was pivotal in a variety of ways. Firstly we were leaving the Grove and secondly it was to
be our last day of shopping. I had become increasingly nervous with
a few factors including luggage weight and rationing of money
before pay day. After packing up we visited our favorite cheap
store. To this note I have bought so many clothes, I will not need
to shop for the rest of the year.
The rest of the weekend revolved around turtle sightings. We drove to North Shore and managed to see
turtles just hanging loose on the beach. It’s actually incredible.
There were so many turtles that Linz couldn’t believe that she
could sit on the beach and read with them there.
Mike also took us to Macky’s Shrimp truck. Of course I couldn’t think of anything
more horrific in my life, but Linz and him throughly enjoyed it. On
Sunday night Linz officially lost her sushi virginity. We had this
wonderful sushi place below our hotel. Cheap and fresh. After a
long day of turtle watching, we were ready to eat some fishy
So here I am on our last day in the place that we love so
much. We don’t want to leave as we have really enjoyed being here.
I had hoped I’d marry a local but it hasn’t happened. So I guess
I’m stuck flying to Fiji for a couple of days.
Our last day in Hawaii consisted of crossing things off our list. Top of the list
was USPS to post our 14kgs of books home. Hideously we managed to
pack them and send them at a total of $117. Bargain.
Walking along the beach towards the Moana Surfrider hotel, we were forced into a
single line along the waters edge. A couple of meters ahead of us a
50 year old man unzipped his fly so his junk could hang out. This
was in anticipation of us seeing it. What he didn’t anticipate was
me screaming at him “pull up your fucking pants!”. Disgusting! All
in a day’s walk.
Shocked by the streaker we visited the museum in
the first hotel in Hawaii: Moana Surfrider. It was built in the
1920s. We wished we could have stayed there instead.
Cheesecake Factory was the luncheon destination. Of course we ordered
everything we wanted and we felt sick.
The last night in Hawaii will be stressing about the 27kgs increase in luggage weight..
Let’s see how far these eyelashes get me.
Things we like about Hawaii:
* compactness of Waikiki
* The Royal Grove
* The Cheese Cake Factory
* Bauble the Meer Cat
* prices in general
* skank tv
Things we don’t like about Hawaii:
* inflated prices of products in Waikiki
* overcrowded buses
Last updated, we had spent the day shopping. Bought a few
amazing bits and pieces. During our time at Waikeile mall, Linz and
I had decided to meet back for lunch at 3pm. So I raced around the
mall, worked out what I was purchasing and was waiting for her to
It was during this period of waiting for Linz, this is when
Mike approached me. I knew from the haircut he was a Military
personal. (Check box four.)
Meanwhile, he seemed lovely and offered to take us around the island. (A thought conjured by Sal, who said
a couple of American Sailors did the same thing to her friends.)
This was a good opportunity to learn somethings about Hawaii from
someone who lives on the island.
Linz on the other was not sure whether the car offering sailor, was indeed an axe murderer. For
this reason, I decided that instead of jumping in his car, we would
hit up Waikiki for lunch first instead.
After lunch we decided to take a hike up Diamond Ridge. Linz unfortunately cant hike because
of her knee operation. So Mike and I drove to the old volcano and
hiked up. My only rules were: no steps!!!
(Mental note: remember the time Nicky made you walk up the 700 odd steps of the Eiffel
tower. You almost died, and ended up on the top in a singlet top in
-1 degrees weather. I hated my life. Particularly when I realized
we could have caught the elevator for 8€.) I was warning Mike that
this wasn’t the day I wanted to relive the memory.
A twenty minute walk and 200 steps later, we made it to the top of the military
look out. The path was well worn and rugged, and its confusing as
to how people are able to jog up and back without dying!
At the bottom of the crater, there was a van that sold ‘shaved ice’. Mike
says it was imperative that I try this icy delight before leaving
the country. It was almost like eating syrup from a cup. Lovely but
full of sugar. It goes against Bam’s diet. I had only a small
proportion to make it up the hill.
At night, Linz met us at Starbucks. We then went to some Irish Pub across from the infamous
Moose’s pub. Moose’s is infamous for a variety of different
reasons, the main one being: it has a high Navy population. It was
on our hit list to Hawaii 101.
On the Wednesday before NYE, Linz and I decided we needed a nothing day. This was considering we had
been so busy in previous days. It was also a washing day.. I had
only worn a couple of singlets, as that was all I had brought with
me. Linz had a bit more.
While awaiting the washing to dry, we met these two Aussie chicks. Actually we had met them the night before,
by the pool. They were coincidentally hanging out with the same
group of boys, we had met down the beach in the previous two days.
Lily and Lakita, were from Perth and were heading back from six
months in Canada on an exchange program. They plan to move to
Melbourne in January.
We were also lucky enough to find another hotel until the end of our trip. After paying for the room, we
headed to the markets to ‘Pick a Pearl’.
“Don’t leave that pearl just lying in a heap,
come to pick a pearl,
where everything is cheap!
Secondhand pearls for a secondhand dream,
From a black to a pink or a cream..” You get the picture.
Apart from the song planted in my head, Linz actually picked two cool pearls. Here’s the catch-
pick a pearl, then get it set for $200. We picked and resorted to
setting it at a later date. We also made a few little gifting
purchases and headed back to the hotel.
For dinner we headed to Tiki’s to watch an open mike night. (Insert dramatic irony here.)
Then for a walk along the beach. Sitting out the front of a hotel,
watching the tide roll in, we were approached by two Aussies..
“Heya mate, do ya mind if we set off some crackers? We’re from
Cairns.. Up north, where ya from?”
So with that they set off a few fireworks, metres from my feet. Bogans. All they kept saying was
“you’re Aussie, you should be enjoying this?”
(Mental note: who let’s these people out of the country?) As predicted by me, not
Nostradamus, we got a warning from a guard. “Guys, fireworks are
not legal on the beach, the cops will be called”. A couple more
minutes and they left, with someone else setting them off further
down the beach. If the Jacks came, we’d decided to tell them that
they ran off. My American accent is good enough, or so I think!
Sitting further down the south, we sat next to a bunch of homeless
people trying to sleep. From what I could gather, they were not
allowed to sleep. The Jacks pulled up on ATV’s (quaddies/four
wheelers) and got off all macho and ‘high horsey’ and poked them to
wake up. One Japanese man, was in this complete state of
repetition. He would put his shorts on and off, walk with his bag
and return talking to himself. Once he asked for the time and
repeated. Another Japanese lady was waking cross legged up and down
the beach. An insight into American homelessness.
On the 30th, we had booked a snorkeling trip. Linz wanted turtles:
“cockroaches of the sea”. I wanted the sun, since the weather had
been rainy for the last couple of days. We met some nice American
sisters with their daughters, grabbed their numbers for NYE. We
talked mostly about tattoos as Denielle was planning her first.
The whole boat trip for the most part rated a 9/10. The cardboard meat
hamburgers 1/10. Linz and the girls went splashing about, and
snorkeling. I stayed with the Mum’s sunbaking, getting my black on!
We saw some turtles in the distance, but Linz saw none up close.
Partly because the sloppy careless tourists splashing and yelling
about in the water. Disappointing, but Mike has promised us
The boat driver also offered us another day on the boat
for free. I could sit on the top and sunbake all day, if it wasn’t
New Years Eve, I would have considered taking up the offer. He was
The biggest problem we are encountering this time is the
tipping. How much to tip? Who to tip? When to tip? It was simple
when I lived in Miami, as I had no money and this meant I couldn’t
tip even if I wanted to. But this time we are a little more cashed
up, so we can afford to, but how much? In Miami I used to just
double the tax and that would leave me around 15%. But the tax here
is lower, so you need to make some mathematical readjustments.
New Year Celebrations have a couple of plans, rest up and then party
with a solid lunch at the Cheesecake Factory!!! Mmmmmm.. I’m having
it all!! Linz made a solid attempt trying to finish the portion
sizes of the American way. We did good.
The night was planned by purchasing tickets to a bar called RumFire in the Sheraton in
Waikiki. Tickets were $50. We purchased them earlier in order to
Finally arriving at the beachside resort, we were
surrounded by hundreds of people. Taking the first opportunity to
seize a table that we could. Drinks were done via the purchase
‘scripts’ (tickets) and once you queue to purchase tickets, you
then queue to purchase drinks. The whole process is time consuming
and the only positive alcohol content of the drinks- too strong –
as you must wait for the ice to melt before consumption.
The whole process was fairly time consuming given the amount of people at the
club. After breaking out some funk master moves it was time for the
countdown. Repositioning ourselves closer to the water to get a
good look at the fireworks. We rate the fireworks about a 2/10.
Linz was disappointed. The fireworks being let off illegally in the
streets were probably more interesting considering the chance that
someone might get hurt.
There were numerous creepy men at the venue. We would have thought they were weeded out considering we
paid $50 entry. But this clearly just meant that they were older
and more creepy. One man kept putting his feather boa on me. He was
in the category of a ‘chopper read’ type psycho. He pushed Linz out
of the way to watch me dance. She simply returned the pleasure with
a greasy and stood right in his view. His eyes piercing through her
back. “You don’t fucken push me out of the way ..”
Alike most of America, the nightclubs close at 2am which meant that we had to
“bounce” before things got messy. We made a quick food stop at ABC
before hitting the sack. We spent the Saturday lethargically lying
around by the pool and in the lobby. Follow this by a couple hours
of skank tv- AKA Jersey Shore. (Thank god Angela has finally left
again, but now the victim of the show has become the hard hitting,
creepy, arrogant Mike or better known as ‘The Situation’.)
Deciding that the best idea would be to get a tour to Pearl Harbor on the
2nd of January, in reflection was not the best idea. Firstly it
began at 6:30am and secondly we were still tired for NYE.
Our first stop was Pearl Harbor. Linz and I hit the book store to source our
purchases for the afternoon. And since we were not able to carry
anything except hand held cameras, let’s make the purchases before
we leave. And we made some great purchases including a signed copy
of a Pearl Harbor book and a commemorative medallion.
The induction video gave an account of the events preceding and proceeding the
attack on Pearl Harbor. It lay closer to the truth than the
pamphlets and tour guides with misinterpreted information. 25
minutes later, we boarded a boat over to the USS Arizona, the main
memorial for WW2. I took a few shots and positioned myself at the
front of the queue in order to get the best returning photos.
From the battleship, leaks about a litre of oil a day. This surprised me
somewhat. I was referring to the damage done to animals from oil
leaks. I would have thought there would have been some sort of
attempt to clean it up, before it gets washed out to sea. But no,
oil leaks freely into the ocean. I disagree that it’s more
important to conserve a battleship than to conserve the
environment. Linz was surprised, considering my slow up take to the
no bag rule.
Taking another short ride we headed to the USS
Missouri. A quick security check and the warning not to take
pictures whilst driving over the bridge. Linz assumed you would be
able to see this bridge on Google maps- or would you?
Arriving on the island, it was quite derelict in the sense that it was host to
a popular tourist attraction and home to numerous military
We boarded the ship, but not without a tacky picture and
tourist trap at the beginning. After taking a few shots of the
ship, I was bored. My attention span is approximately 20mins and I
had already used that up on the video. Once the tour concluded,
Linz and I headed to “best fucken spot in all the spots I’ve ever
stood in”. This spot for those who are historically challenged, is
the ‘spot’ where the surrender of the Japanese and the conclusion
of the Second World War was agreed upon. Australia is not at the
bottom of the treaty, but above Canada. And New Zealand
unfortunately took the last place. Linz and I questioned the theory
behind the ordering of countries.
At this point, I disembarked. I was hungry and I was over the steps of the ship. Linz kept looking
and shooting before meeting me back at the cafe.
One thing that never ceases to amaze me about Tourists, is their complete lack of
respect for anything sacred or special. Climbing on tanks is what I
witnessed in Vietnam. Today was similar, as inappropriate photos
were taken or climbing up on memorials. Or even taking shoes off to
enter a temple and then carrying them in your hands. I like to be
careful not to offend or detract from the symbolic meaning of
Boarding the ‘coach’ again, we set off for a tour
through China Town and Downtown Honolulu. I am not really
interested in returning to either. Our last stop was the Punchbowl.
This is the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific and the
Honolulu. Again I was bored following a tour guide around and
resorted to tanning my legs on the bench. I think I am over tours.
The plan ahead is for more shopping, but our bags have become
increasingly full. Or if you are like Linz, you came with a full
Firstly I would like to apologize for the formatting. I had
set the blogs out in neat paragraphs, but sometime between
uploading and publishing, they join together. Sorry. 🙂 and I also would like to put the photos in a slide show, but I haven’t worked that out on my iPad yet.
Finally we made it to the airport without being bogged on the path on the way home. It was hideous! The cab driver talking and talking in order
to get us to call him on the way back to Fiji. Fortunately this
time we didn’t have to pay for the transfer, but we paid in the
form of our nostrils- he stunk!
Once I got to the airport I was able to get WIFI, which meant I could finally post the blogs that had been sitting on my phone. I am surprised with the lack of Internet on the island considering Cambodia’s third world state and
they manage to be further advanced. I had exactly an hour to get
everything online before the plane boards and my credit runs out. –
As a task master I was efficient. I do however apologize for the
formatting as it seems to disappear when I copy it from my notes to
Arriving in Honolulu, after a reasonably great nap. I
had the window of the exit seat, which wasn’t the best spot
considering it was freezing and I was getting cold. But it was
better than the farting Hawaiian next to Linz. “And the bastard was
hogging the arm rest!”
Doing like we usually do, we nestled into our beds for a nap. The girl at the hotel, had as booked in as Mr and Mrs Linz, which consequently meant we were sharing a double bed. I’m not sure who was supposed to be the man, and why she didn’t question it. Perhaps the check in would have been easier if I’d spoken my broken Japanese. (Mental note: incompetence of
hospitality staff in hotels.)
So arising from our slumber by a phone call from Bowler- which I didn’t answer, as I’m not sure exactly how much they cost. We showered and were off to explore Waikiki for two things; phone company so I can get a sim card to keep blogging/ Facebooking and to find a hotel.
We found a hotel at a wicked price. But most importantly it has cooking places. Save money on accommodation to have money for Tiffany’s- best idea ever.
The rest of the afternoon was spent shopping. And by shopping, I
mean stocktake. I was like a kid in a candy store.. Bargains left,
right and centre! With the Aussie dollar being on par, it was a
brilliant expenditure. The worse part was lining up to pay. And if
you were worried about whether or I have been working on my guns, I
have! The bags were so heavy that my arms were sore in the morning.
Fit 2 Shop: I’ve got it covered!
It was our second Christmas Eve for the year, Due to the dateline. The only thing worse for me would be having two Christmas’, when I already hate the first one.
Christmas day was spent celebrating/sunbaking/relaxing on Waikiki
beach. It was a gorgeous day. In terms of tanning capacity, the sun
was weak! I got no lines or no reddness after 5hours with no
sunscreen! WTF! Am I ever going to reach my Chocolate City tan?
Linz “There are no public Toilets on this island- after lunch I’m
pissing in the ocean!” Luckily enough the rain came in at 5pm, so
we headed home instead!
I did manage to met a young man named Seth, who works on the beach selling deck chairs for hire. I’m hoping he can hook me up with some local hangouts or funky things to do other than tours.
I had planned for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, a
University of Miami -2006 favorite. Problem: the wait for dinner
was almost 2hours long. No thanks. We also tried this Okinomiyaki
place, but they had a similar wait. We eventually settled for
another UM favorite- Señor Frogs!
A quick stroll along the streets, lead me right into the doors of Tiffany and Co. Of course I managed to make my purchase for 2011. On the way I was stopped by a homeless man and asked for a dollar. Of course based on my ‘World Vision’ of one dollar a day, I had already shared my love. His
reply becomes one of the top blog quotes: “I’d just like to say you
are one good looking woman. You probably don’t want to hear that
from a bum, [as] I probably look like a walking scrotum. But I’m
not!” Hilarious, and a accurate description of himself.
Boxing day, as referred to by Australians and maybe the English, we planned a tour around the island. We figured, alike London’s ‘Big Ben Bus
Tours’, you get on, see the island and work out where you want to
go back to. Bill is the driver and be appears to be the ‘all American’ type of guy. He kindly informed us that “the first WW2 POW was taken in 1941, which is also consequently when the war began”. An enlightening thought for two history teachers, one with a particular focus on American History.
Not far along the journey, we stopped alongside the road. Not for a sightseeing experience or shopping. But because the bus broke down. Hilarious! The only positive is that it’s given me more time to write!
I’m not going to waffle on too much about the tour, as the pictures will speak more than my words. To sum up the tour experience: Hawaii is beautiful. I could live here forever. It offers everything; beach, city,
shops, country, weather. The only thing it lacks, and perhaps I’m a
little spoilt by Melbourne, the cafe, restaurants and cuisine that
I enjoy so much. I miss the Little Ox in Brighton.
Shopping in Waikiki is intense. I can purchase almost everything. And to be
honest, with the dollar at it’s solid position- “we is dollaires!”
Because of this we have had to do some reshuffling of necessities.
The money I spent on food, needs to be reshuffled for shopping. And
for those of you who think I am giving up food for clothes, you
would be incorrect. We have downsized to a smaller shitter hotel
and this means we have cooking facilities. So more eating in. I
also wished I had grabbed some more Skinnys from Bam.
We tried to book flights and accommodation for Maui. Put it this way: “it ain’t happening bitches!” This is because the cost will be approximately
$1500 and this is in the event we can actually get accommodation.
So we have decided to stay on Oahu and just do some tours!
Three of our mission S’s have been completed. Shopping, sunbaking and
sightseeing. Sailors here we come!