Mangoes World

Welcome to the world of Ms M Mango


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Relating to relationships.

Approaching the end of my 20’s I have learnt a great deal of things about relationships. And by relationships I mean all relationships.

I’ve learned two fundamental principles; that some people will give you more than you ask, and that some with take more than they deserve. Consequently by experience I’ve learned not to bother with those who don’t meet your reflection, but to treat them as they do.

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As a self confessed thinker my thoughts are often vibrant and contextual. This inevitably allows me to express my conclusions by carefully constructed prose. It is with further clarification of my relationships, that I can reveal to myself the repetitive nature of my conversion. Moreover I am able to develop an understanding into the methodology of my thought practice.

As creatures we all posses differentiated skill sets. That in order to develop a fully functional relationship we must have a Ying and a Yang. It is in this that I admit defeat. I will accept that I can not be more of what I am not, that I must focus on my abilities and accept help when required. Providing myself with an equal partnership of sorts is how I can rationalise my standing amongst my central goals.

First and foremost the success of any relationship boils down to happiness. I have learned that happiness is a state of mind, that you are the only one responsible for your own happiness. It is through happiness within oneself that leads me to believe that in order to be happy in a relationship, you must at first be happy with oneself.

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Easier said than done. But is it really that hard? What really makes us happy is the acceptance of the unchangeable and the willingness to produce satisfaction by hard work and determination. And it is disappointing that sometimes we can get so caught up on the failures of the past, that we are unable to see the successes of the future.

My formula is simple; it could be worse. My glass is always half full. Because being half empty is a complete waste of liveable time. Focus on the things that we can control, and ignore the things we can’t. We can control our happiness, we can control our future.

To this effect I focus myself on setting goals. And becoming the person I want to be. And even though I am not religious, in principle many of my morals are drawn from the ‘goodness’ of religion, however this does not overshadow the fact that I ultimately believe in me.

When formulating new relationships I focus on key points; to actively listen and to relate. Possibly what is misinterpreted from me is that I can relate to a person in some way or another, always. It can be seen as competitive but for me I view it is as a development of similarities.

Reflecting on my relationships around me, I have friends that fit into many categories. Those who are the popular self assured type and those who are generally more difficult to get along with. I don’t mind the difficult ones, they often come hand in hand with untold honesty. That you can be real and uncut with them and that they will be the same back to you. However many people find them inappropriate and confrontational.

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I’m not one for sugar coating. I will say how I feel regardless of whether or not you want to hear it. I can’t pretend for one moment to be fake, I just can’t. I also expect the same of those around me.

Then there’s the popular friends, the ones that everyone is drawn to by their ultimate charisma. The problem with these people is that you must complete to stay in their ‘SnapChat Bestfriends’ spot. The moment you stop the sooner you are pushed to the bottom of the pile.

In my personal relationship I strive to maintain happiness. That when we come together, the worries of the world are left outside. That we are brutally honest. That we can be disappointed without being angry and that we can trust each other.

Moving forward into 2015, I have made many changes to my immediate circle of friends. Due in part to my realisation that many people simple do not meet the standards of which I expect of a friend. I am looking for those people who are my equals, who express the same views as me and share the same morals and ethics. These people are the people who will answer the phone at your greatest time of need.

For the most part the acceptance that people will move throughout your life, and some will stay and some will go, has taken a long time to settle against my expectations. I believe it is because I tend to give everything to someone until they break my expectations of a worthy character. My point is; how many people do you have in your life that are stealing the oxygen you breathe? Moreover, why do we struggle so hard to keep them around?

I guess the fundamental process of moving forward, can sometimes be hindered by the ties of the past. We hold people close because we feel it is a duty, as opposed to a right. I am honestly more forgiving as a friend, than I have been in relationships, but eventually it all equates to the same thing.

Still, what intrigues me the most is how relationships are formed. How is it that some people you bond with immediately and others you just understand from the get go, that they’ll never be that friend. Moreover, what makes us drawn to some people and not to others?

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Ultimately this repetitive nature of friendships will undoubtedly replay throughout the course of my life. I commit myself to looking for and keeping those who share the same ideological foundations. I additionally hold myself to the same expectations. After all, life means nothing if you do not develop complex relationships with the people around you.

~ Mango
“Define yourself by the people who share your light.”

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Different folks, different strokes – a comparatively good assessment.

I enjoy nothing more than the development of a good comparison. To compare one thing with another, assess is relationship and decide to which side is in fact the better of the two comparatives, structures most of the context of the world.

More recently I have been evolving in my life. Things are on the move and definitely changing. In the words of an old counterpart ‘about time’. It is exactly how I feel.

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To this effect, I have been taking the acronym ‘YOLO’ literately. You Only Live Once – and it is so true. In practice this means that I am doing the things I wouldn’t normally do. Mixing it up. Shaken and stirred.

More recent blog posts have be dedicated to the evolution of life and of friendships. I have looked into those around me and have assessed in their entirety the benefit of such people in my life. I understand that likes, tastes, beliefs, associations and knowledge categorize people. That some people are who they are because of their environment and there are others that seek disassociation from the world around them. There are leaders and there are followers, just as there are achievers and laxidasicals. There are girls and there are boys.

When I have a problem, just alike in management processes, I have a metaphorical flow chart of people that I will seek for their advice and knowledge. Some are heartfelt, and some are cold. I know who is going to give me the truth and who is going to tell me what I want to hear.

angel vs devilI am learning that you cannot always have the philosophical conversation with the uneducated, and the educated are less likely to fix your front gate. In a laymen’s comparison you wouldn’t go to your English teacher for help with a Math equation. To this effect, I have begun to accept people for who they are. The good, for the bad. And to some extent our emotions often get in the way of being able to make an accurate assessment of the individual.

Conversing of late has led me to comparative notion of the sexes. How the relationships that you form with both are intricately complex and based on a variety of different factors. As a girl who has a majority of male friends, and one who is ‘not just saying it’, I understand that these relationships, although historic are in fact limited by the fact that many of these men are single. I believe that once they find ‘the woman of their dreams’ that essentially our relationship will fade. This can be contributed to a variety of different factors, most notably that the new girlfriend may not want her boyfriend to have a female ‘bestie’.

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Consequentially, I must understand that although these relationships are precious at this stage of my life that few, if any will last. So it is from here that I look find friendships with females who are on a similar path as me. I have been able to establish many over the last couple of months. But what is it that draws you to a person?

The female world is competitive and cutthroat. Expectations and emotions are high. Saying the wrong thing one night might wind you up in a worse situation than before. It’s hard to pick the real from the fake. And appearances often don’t give you many clues.

What is fundamentally different between the women and the men in my life, is that with women I am talking about broken relationships and heart breaks. Where as with men I am talking about life and careers. Men want to know about thought processes and theories of success, and women want to discuss in detail the events of these failed relationships.

womanvsmanI have come to the conclusion that I can fit easily in either conversation. However I like to think that I see the world in black and white, it is or it isn’t. And that is that.

Alike high school, moving towards 30 has begun to unravel the psychological stability of those around me. In your early 20s, everyone is out to change the world and experience as many things as humanly possible. Moving out of my 20s, I am seeing emotional baggage and the effects of poor parenting. But no one is perfect. Everyone has a little wound.

Being that I have made so many monstrous changes over the last six months, I decided that it was time for the third installment of my life as told by a Psychic. What needs to be outlined here is that I am not entirely a believer of the power of Psychics, but I am also not a non-believer either. I took a variety of photos in with me, and they were strategically placed in the pile so I did not give away any precious details. I removed babies from photos, and took away photos with relationships. I was not about to give away any free information.

psychic-lit1When questioned in follow up, did I ask about whom I was going to spend the rest of my life with? I declined. I believe that we are in control of our destiny, that the words of a medium can only be used in guidance and not to be taken as fact.

So why did I go if I didn’t want any insight into the future? The Psychic asked “do you have any questions to ask me?” And all I wanted to know was ‘am I making the right decisions in my life?’ Which in reality, the answer was always going to be yes. I can’t imagine a Psychic telling me I am making bad decisions. It defeats the purpose.

Walking out the door of the Psychic, I had made no advancements in my life, that what I had had walking in. I was not clearer than the hour previously. However I had faith that I was connecting with the right people and assessing situations appropriately. Sometimes we wish that we had a ‘Life Teacher’ that would sit there and give you an A, when you are making the right decisions.

decisions decisions wordcloud 2In comparison to this time last year, I am really happy with the progress that I have made thus far. I am happy with the friends that I have and I am happy with the place that I am living in. More importantly, I am working in a job that finally addresses my interests. And with or without the divine intervention of a psychic, I am making the right choices. I believe I am on the right path.

~Mango
“Be in control of your own destiny.”