Mangoes World

Welcome to the world of Ms M Mango



I’ve had to post the two blogs at the same time, because I’ve had no internet connection. Which means no connection with the outside world. And I’ve survived- which highlights that Facebook is purely a hobby and not an addiction..

So after arriving at our dingy hotel, we argued with the owners about the airport transfer and decided we would just pay for the cab and be done with it. We were exhausted and not really interested in arguing, and although
we had paid for an extra nights accommodation because we arrived so
early. Getting to the hotel was almost a comedy of errors. See the
pictures below, taking note of the “casual walk ins” sign and then
of the road we nearly got bogged in coming here. Fijian irony I

The complimentary breakfast, was well complimentary. It
included a strange jam and toast, with a side of fruit. Drinks were
extra. Having not eaten a great deal of food, we reluctantly ate
before heading to our room. I felt like a chicken pecking at the
seed, I had no other reaction than to feed myself. I needed a nap.

The room was clean and the beds were like giant sponges. As both of
us were tired, it wouldn’t have bothered me if I slept on spikes.

After a couple of hours, power napping we headed out for a walk.
Our hotel was a grave yard and we had seen one other couple. Fairly
reminiscent of Hitchcock’s Psyco- rain included.

A short walk down the bumpy, unpaved path we wound up in Club Fiji. Found the massage place and ordered ourselves a much deserved rub down. $25 FJD to be covered in oil in awkward beach shelter. I really enjoyed taking off my top in the middle of the hotel and exposing my mangoes. Whatever Trevor!

After we both had received massages, we found and
started a hostile takeover of the blue leather 70s couches. This
was going to be the place of relaxation for the next couple of
hours. We read, we ate and most importantly we ordered ‘Pina
Coladas’! Well I ordered one, Linz had a Daiquiri.

Moments later, sitting back sipping our cocktails on the 70s leather couch, our theme song blares through the speakers. We were speaking with
Tonga, the Waiter and explained the significance of ‘If you like
Pina Coladas’. It’s what both of us have held on to from booking
our trip in term three. Without the song we had nothing.

The song has encapsulated many things for both of us. It has been
inspiration for survival in the Linx filled halls of MEC. It has
given us a dream, a hope and above all – escapism! On a side note,
the second line of ‘being caught in the rain rings true for this
hot tropical climate. A song that will speak forever in my soul.

After eating Tacos we headed back to our dingy hotel. We were
exhausted and struggling to keep our eyes open. So after a long
-cold at the start, hot at the end- shower.. We climbed into bed. I
awoke wide awake at 1am thinking about the range of things that
circulate throughout my head. I made a few decisions. I also
decided it was time for the fan.. At this point Linz heard me wake.
And here comes the first of many memorable quotes “I’m regretting
not bringing my Phone for many reasons, one being using it as a
light.” Its not the normal reason for missing your phone, for me..
I’m missing WIFI. I’ve got no connection. What puzzles me more, is
that shitful run down bed bug ridden hotels in Phnom Penh have WIFI
and in Fiji it barely exists.

Waking up the second time, I realized I had been massacred by mosquitos. If the Dengue fever was transmitted per occurrence of bites.. I was well and truly converted. 23 was the morning count. Linz however survived the
mosquito massacre with only a few wounds. Hideous! I look like a
child with Chicken Pox!

We had planned a trip into town from the hotel with the 70s couches. It was a bargain rate of $2.50 FJD each way. The items on the top of my list was Tea Tree oil and mosquito repellent. Lucky the market had Bushman’s sticky but effective gel, although my biggest problem was the sleeping with the enemies. Linz made a few purchases, this included a mask, some little angels, and a picture. I just smoothed over the wooden goods and thought about buying Daddy, a hideous Hawaiian shirt.

On the way back we luckily or not so luckily (jury’s out) got to drive slowly past a cremation. Not my sort of entertainment.. If you know what I mean!

On the whole today was a hell of a lot hotter. I was getting my
black on.. Although there no sunbaking as yet.. But never fear
there will be plenty of opportunities..

Walking back to the dingy hotel, a small rat type creature scuttled across the road. My initial thought was a Weasel. Upon clarification from the
bartender, it was a Mongoose. I had finally lost my Mongoose
virginity, and it felt good.

I change my massacre to 30 bites on my legs! The lesson I have learnt for the future is; I can not take romantic vacations next to the ocean, unless I’m in Bora Bora and the actual villa is in the sea. During the day I was ok, but at night the little kamikaze fighters were sneaking in the fly screen and
biting me on the butt. The only time I’ve ever experienced worse
bites was up on the Murray river, when I slept with my head poking
out of the swag. I awoke to about 12 bites to my face. This time,
I’ve been pro-active about ensuring that no bites reach my face.
I’ve now resorted to sleep in Bushman repellent, I’m enjoying the
way I am able to Superman myself to the sheets! 😉

For dinner, we ordered back at our own hotel.
This was because we felt bad because the night before, we didn’t eat here. Linz ordered a beef curry, to which some of the beef didn’t taste like beef, and with my food phobias- of course I didn’t want to know that. Garnishing her plate was a rather large chilli. Being the ‘Kungfu chilli master’ that I
was, I ate it. (Now it is important to note my tolerance for spicy
is rather high, as I spent years cooking as a ‘chilli chick’ in
chilli cook offs with my mum. Not only did I order and taste loads
of chilli, I was steadfastly becoming immune to it. Up until this
point, I had not met a chilli I couldn’t handle.) Well that all
changed in a matter of seconds. I managed one bite and then spat
the chilli in a projectile way back on to the plate. I almost died.
(This would be the second time Jarrad, would disagree with that
statement) but I did! The Kungfu chilli master had met her match in
a small hotel south of NADI. I went to bed with a “soar” throat
that night. Saw a gecko on the wall- took a picture for you Bowler.

“Wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy”, I did a bite count
and have isolated another few additions. I’m collecting mosquito
bites, like you collect seashells at the beach.

We managed to go for a massive walk along the black sandy beach. Just in time before the torrential down pour that is tropical Fiji! It meant that I was the sacrificial lamb, with no umbrella. It was me that was running
ahead in the down pour. Linz had the cameras and phone. I had the
drink bottle and the rain.

On a side note- Fijians are lovely. Everyone says hello or “bula” in Fijian. I likey a lot! Tonight we leave NADI, thank goodness. I’m bored.

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Author: Em Mango

Blogger, PA, Nerd, Social Media Addict, Friend, Lover, Snuggler, Traveller

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